Wicked Games
by OwlsNest
Summary: As life begins to settle down for everyone around Akira Mado, she is left with a gapping hole in her chest that continues to grow. After a drunken night at her team's favorite ramen shop, she stumbles upon an old rival. What does letting go of the past really mean, and how does one move forward with the lot they are given?
1. Chapter 1

Hello! My fellow Tokyo Ghoul loves! A little bit of honesty, this is my first fan fiction in dear lord knows how long.

I do not own TG or any of its characters. This story is entirely fictional, and made from 100% love. This is going to be a SeidouxAkira fanfiction, I do look forward to writing some hot and heavy stuff with them ;) so keep an eye out, because we are gonna be able to make some lemonade with all these lemons haha. Anyway, please send me love and/or critiques in the comments!

Chapter One

Rain poured down on Akira's balcony, wetting the edge of the cement, and drowning out any silence in her apartment. She sat on her couch, hungry and tired from the day. Nothing of any significance, nothing but paperwork, and meetings. It was the same old droning, same long lists of losses and kills. For the past couple of days, everything was started to turn into one big blur to her.

A burst of lightning illuminated the dark room, followed shortly by what sounded like an explosion.

The lightning made contact.

Akira's stomach rumbled and moaned in it's begging for fulfillment. Surely she did not feel like cooking anything, no desire to really. She tapped her fingers, got up and walked to her little kitchen. Opening the fridge and staring blankly into it, she quickly closed it. It was empty, like her stomach, and like some other things-she did not want to think about.

Thunder rolled, and Akira began to wonder. She wondered back into her cozy living room, into her room, then back. Was this anxiousness she was having? Her apartment was starting to feel small, congested-empty.

The clock on the roll struck 8. Well, if it would ease her mind, she still had time to eat out.

 _Then again, what does it matter?_

Slipping on her shoes, and umbrella in hand, she exited her apartment in search of something to fill her empty-

 _Heart._

Stomach.

Rain continued to pour, drumming atop her umbrella. Cars passed, their wiper blades going full blast, and lights reflecting in the wet street like a black mirror. For a moment, it felt just as small out here as it did in her apartment.

Akira didnt know how long she had been walking, but somehow she ended up outside a little corner restaurant. It's red banners and reminiscent smell sent a pang of longing inside her.

It was 'their' ramen shop.

Lifting away the red banner, she stepped into the corner shop, and was welcomed by warmth and scent-

 _Home._

"Hi, welcome to Yoshitobas, what can I get for you?" The owner smiled, welcoming Akira as he did to all his patrons.

"Just the pork udon, please."

"Anything to drink, mam?"

Akira almost said water, but the night still weighed heavy on her chest. One drink with dinner wouldnt hurt, maybe it would even help. It was worth a shot.

"A Kirin Ichiban* please."

 _He always got that one. They both did, actually._

The emptiness was rumbling again. Akira didnt even wait for her food before she started putting back her beer.

By the time her udon arrived she was finished with her second beer.

 _Can't eat without something to drink, riiight?_ Akira chuckled to herself.

The warmth the broth brought to her stomach felt good, but the alcohol felt even better. Sure, her bill was a little higher than normal, but the feeling it all left her with was the best shes felt in-

 _Years. The best I've felt in years._

She spent so much of her life living in the past, the wonderful, rose colored past. In truth, it was a shit show. Everything she built her life on, her meaning on, was a shit show. After she had recovered from protecting Seidou from Mistsuki, and began her new life working along side Amon and Goat, Akira really thought her shattered persona and life would began to piece back together. Even Amon and her began to piece back some forms of a relationship-

 _If you could call it that._

He said he would stand by her through anything, and he did. Her world was beginning to feel the warmth of the sunlight again. Amon worked tirelessly alongside Kaneki to patch the relations between humans and ghouls. Working tirelessly to fight back the rebels, both human and ghoul, who refused any such ideas.

Throwing back another beer, Akira couldnt help but remember the lasst time she and Amon were alone together. It was about a year ago, in her room, and there they were together. It had been a hard day, many men were lost by an ambush led by a human militia group. So many senseless deaths.

Amon had refused for Akira to go home unaccompanied. Finally, she was alone with him, and not drunk. She couldnt risk losing him again. Gathering all her courage she wrapped her arms around him, stood as high as she could on her tippy toes, and closed the gap between their lips. There had been a fire in her for a long time, a fire she wanted to set a blaze with him-in him. Maybe she was expecting fireworks, passion, a quiver, or at least something! Their lips parted and she looked deep into his dark eyes-searching for something, anything.

It was then that she came to the realization-the realization that Amon was never going to escape the past, his sense of duty, and that he would never be completely her's. It was that night, when she ended things with him. If she was to fully move on with her life, she couldnt lie to herself that Amon was ready to leave the past. She expected the realization to hit her hard, but instead, it left her void. A few polite words were exchanged, and Amon looked somewhat distraught. Maybe he just didnt understand why she was popping their happy make-believe bubble, or he was starting to recognize his own short comings. Whichever the reason, it was but a moment later he composed himself, bowed, and wished her a goodnight and that he would always be there if she needed him.

That was in the past though, and the void in her continued to grow. She paid her tab, and stumbled back out onto the street. It was pouring still, and she was already two blocks away before she realized she had left her umbrella at the shop.

 _Oh well, does it even matter?_

Each step either felt lighter than air, or heavier than cement blocks, but at least her mind was silent for once. In her drunken, and soaked haze, she was unsuspecting of someone watching every stumbled move.

What started as whispers, became louder and louder in her head. Screaming that not even alcohol would completely shut out.

 _Lonely, so lonely. Why am I so alone?_

Akira stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, rain pelting down, and her body began to shiver and shake. The rain hid the tears she was violently shedding. Inside her chest and stomach was a growing, gnawing black hole that was going to devour her. What was the meaning of anything? Why was she not connecting with anyone? Did she make the right decisions? Maybe she should have stayed in her rose colored bubble, with Amon. The world around her was closing in, ready to crush her under its weight. She leaned up against the nearest wall to keep herself upright.

Footsteps were coming closer and closer. Multiple footsteps.

"I told you I saw her, Akira Mado, the traitorous bitch working with Goat." A masculine voice said.

"Fucking bitch, showing your ghoul loving face around my parts." The man towards the front said. The supposed leader was holding a pipe, while the other two were bare handed.

"Ghouls took everything I loved away from me!" The gruff man balanced the metal pipe in his hands. "And here you people go, and think we can coexist with these monsters? I think not!" He screamed.

"Bash her fucking brains in!" One yelled.

"How funny would it be if a ghoul came along and ate her remains!" The other one snickered.

 _Fuck my life._

Before she could position herself to try to get away, the three men rushed at her. She threw her arms across her face to protect herself.

 _This is going to fucking hurt._

Then screaming. Lots of screaming, but not her screaming. Akira peaked from between her arms. Something was over two of the men's bodies, while the third had his back to the wall in horror. The black cloak hid whoever-whatever it was. Not even the rain or the screams could drown out the sounds of tearing flesh and cracking bone.

Akira sunk down to the ground in her fear and stupor as she couldnt help but watch those two men get ripped apart.

 _What's worse, being beaten to death, or eaten alive? Guess I'm going to find out._

The cloaked figure stood, and in one swoop grabbed the third man by the neck, and like tearing meat off a turkey leg, ripped his throat out. The man dropped instantly. The figure then turned towards Akira, pale bony fingers reached up to its hood, and pulled it down. Wet, blood stained white hair escaped. His black lips spread into a wide grin.

"Akiii-raaa"

 _I dont feel so good._

Before her lights went out, she turned to the side, and vomited.

Yay! First chapter is done! Im not sure how much love this story is going to get considering the size of the SeidouxAkira fanbase ahhaha maybe I'm wrong. Any pointers or suggestions im open to!

Just leave me some love in the comments 3 33

See ya next chapter!


	2. Chapter 2

Hello everyone! Thank you for being patient with me, this definitely took me a lot longer than I thought it would. Anyway, little authors note: some of you may notice some changes going on in Akira's thoughts and actions, and rightfully so. There are some major things that have been happening inside our little Mado's head and heart. Stay tuned ;)

Chapter Two

Akira's body laid hunched over, with the smell of vomit quickly being washed away by the rain. Seidou's gaze lingered at his blacked out old rival. Blood and human tissue smeared his pale face and under his dirty nails. At least he got a meal out of this little rescue charade. He giggled to himself. He could eat her up too while he was at it.

Her body shuddered, and for a moment Seidou did too.

"Oi, you awake Mado?" Seidou casually strolled over the mangled corpses, squatted down, and lifted Akira's head up by her matted, blonde hair.

He giggled as he put both hands on her face, squishing her cheeks together.

"Wakey wakey A-ki-ra-channnn"

She began mumbling something incoherent as she dozed in and out of consciousness.

"Taki-taki...mmmm" Akira could not get her words out.

Seidou lulled her head side to side, playing with her much like a rag doll. He was too busy playing with her head to notice her hand weakly gripping his leg.

"Taki-takizawa."

"What d'ya want? Ya lush."

In a moment of drunken clarity, though still in a dreamlike state, Akira braced herself onto Seidou-

"I don't want to do this...I dont want to do this anymore."

"What ya trying to-" He was quickly cut off by her frantic cries.

"I want you to eat me!"

For what seemed like an eternity, everything around was silent. Then a loud cackle erupted. Seidou erupted into gregarious laughter. He didnt think he had laughed so hard in his life. His eyes went wide with craze, and his black lips stretched thin in a mad grin.

 _What the Fuck is she even saying? Eat her?...wait...does she mean literally or-_

Akira lunged forward, both hands gripping Seidous cloak till her knuckles were white.

"Just devour me already! I dont want to do this anymore, I dont want to feel this way anymore!" She shouted, as tears ran down her face. "Please, just do it." Akira sobbed into Seidou's cloak.

 _Oh, she meant literally._

Seidou's laughter had stopped. He looked down at her head, unsure of what to think or feel. Sure she was drunk out of her mind, but why the crazy demand?

Another wave of nausea came over Akira, she clumsily pushed Seidou to the side, and she threw up. Welcoming the darkness again.

This was not how Seidou had envisioned this night going. Truth be told, he had been hanging around for a couple of days, trying to find the right time and way to approach his former comrade. No matter how much time passed, Akira and Amon were a piece of him that he could never let go of. A piece that felt as heavy as Amon's cross around Seidou's neck. Although he wanted to shed his previous life like a snake skin, since there was no going back to it, he couldn't shake the emptiness from leaving them.

Now here she was, in his arms again, albeit smelling of vomit. From watching her those past few days, he could tell something had been off with her. Not many would be able to spot the cracks in Akira Mado's stone cold exterior, but Seidou could. Tonight everything came to a head with whatever had been going on with her. She was drunk, weaponless, and begging to be eaten. Which was not normal Mado behavior.

 _Ok, now what?_

He began to nervously pick at his nails with his teeth, nibbling till his fingers bled and his thumb nail ripped off. Saliva began to pull in his mouth, and his head started to tick.

 _I could just eat her. Grant her wish. Hehe if Mado was dead-_

In the deep parts of his mind, something whispered, no, mourned-

 _If Mado was dead, there would be nothing left._

Before the stench of fresh blood drew vulture ghouls from their hiding, Seidou picked Akira's sleeping form, careful to not get any of the vomit on them, and left. This is not how he planned this night to go.

He'd be lying if he said he didnt know where Akira's apartment was. He'd even be ashamed to mention that he could get there in his sleep. Though he had never been inside, he was always curious of what her dwelling place looked like.

 _I bet Amon got to see inside her apartment, bastard._

Being in town again for the first time in years was a bit nostalgic. So many memories knocking on the door of his brain. Memories he didnt want to let in. There was too much pain, and too many 'what if's'.

Her body felt warm in his arms, and it was comforting to know that the smell of booze was still the same for him. This position brought back not too distant memories in itself. Her face, full of sweat, blood, and tears. The picture of her face that day, when she shielded him and when she cried for him, had haunted him many days and nights afterward.

In one leap Seidou landed on her narrow balcony. The sudden movement made Akira stir, nuzzling her face into his neck, sending a cold chill down Seidou's back.

"Stop that! Now where are your keys?" He knew she couldnt hear any of it, but the silence was beginning to bother him. Shifting her body like a ragdoll, he found a small kitty coin purse hooked on one of her skirts loops. It's insides were limited to an I.D, debit card, and house key. The apartment's balcony led straight into Akira's bedroom. The bedroom was incredibly plain for being a young woman's room, but the smell was just as intoxicating. It was a subtle mix of summer rains and coffee beans.

Her wet clothes clung to her frame, and she began to shiver as he laid her onto her bed. Deep in his mind, there was something about this scene that felt like a long lost dream. Something that his cinnamon-roll past self would have fantasized about. However, those days were long gone.

Had it not been for the rebel thugs, he'd still be simply watching from the shadows. From what he could tell, and hear, both human and ghoul rebel groups had been popping up, creating mayhem. Hate still ran deeply on both sides, and the fact that Akira would be stumbling around drunk and weaponless during such times was down right mind boggling to Seidou. Never in any lifetime would he imagine that to be an inkling of a scenario; but here she was, drunk and weaponless.

 _Should I even be here?_

He huffed and sat down on the floor, leaning his back against her bed, and counting her breaths. He felt oddly vulnerable sitting in the silence of Akira's room, as though any moment she would jolt out of bed and-

 _Be disgusted by me being here._

Truth was, he didnt know why he even came back to this place. There was no place for him here. Someone with his sins deserved to be dead. Human and ghoul relations were making progress, and Seidou still felt like an outcast. There was no place for him in her world, he was just waiting around for her to come to her senses just to tell him to leave.

Seidou began biting on his lips, drawing blood, then sucking it away.

 _There's no place for me here. Why am I here. I shouldn't be here._

Thoughts raced in his mind, clouding up his head and eyes. He drew his cloak closer to him, and started to get up.

There was a tug.

His first thought was he had gotten caught on something, until he noticed a small pale hand not letting him go.

"Please, Seidou."

Dazed, but awake, Akira held tightly his black cloak. Her white blouse still wet, and the pink of her skin showing through.

"Not again, dont go...again."

End of another chapter...sorry, it felt like it was going on forever. Next chapter should be up a little sooner than this one was. I'll be honest, the very last chapter of Tokyo Ghoul is out...and im in a bit of a depressive slump (not necessarily because of anything that happened, but simply because it's over). Thanks for the patience!


	3. Chapter 3

Author's note: So re-reading the very last chapter of Tokyo Ghoul I realized that it is a time skip of about 6 years. In my previous chapters I put that it has only been about a year (since I think I started this right before the last TG chapter came out) I will be fixing that now. So in other words, this story takes place about 6 ½ to 7 years after the Dragon Wars. Akira and Seidou are about 30-31 years old at this point.

Chapter 3

Wicked Games

"Please, Seidou." Akira spoke just above a whisper, as she gripped tighter to Seidou's black, wet cloak. Her body was shivering again.

Seidou breathed in sharply, his body rigid, and his pulse quickened.

"Tch, still gonna beg me to eat ya, eh, Mado?" Sweat was beginning to form on his forehead, and he was beginning to hear his heartbeat in his ears. "Top of our class, my ass!" Seidou snorted. "Look'n pretty pathetic if ya ask me."

With his back still towards her, he could feel the pressure on his cloak tighten more, and the sound of rustling blankets as she pulled herself to her knees.

"I dont know if this is real, I dont know if you're really here, but even if this is just a dream, then just stay here till I wake up." Her head rested against Seidou's back, blonde hair covering her face. Seidou kept his gaze straight forward, his eyes were sullen, and there was an uncomfortable lump in his throat.

 _This aint no dream Mado, this has been and always will be-a nightmare. I'm a nightmare._

"Mado," Seidou started, his voice low. "You need to get to bed."

For the first time that night, the rain and thunder died down, with just the monotonous sound of soft rain falling onto the windows.

"I dont need sleep!" Her shout was more startling than thunder.

In an act that shocked Akira, Seidou pulled away from her grasp, so quickly that she almost toppled over. His teeth were clenched, and his knuckles white from tight fists.

Dazed, confused, and still a little drunk, Akira watched with wide eyes and pounding heart beat, the ghost of the boy she once knew. From where she was looking, she could see just the side of his face. Sadness enveloped her. He had that same hopeless look, the same she would see during their academy days, when he would stare up longingly at their rankings. His hair was no longer that lovely chestnut brown and he lost most of his plump child like features, but the way his eyes would look when he felt defeated stayed the same. That above everything, broke her heart, because what stood before her right now was not an SS rated ghoul, but her Seidou Takizawa. Seven years had passed, but right now in this moment, it was as if a day hadn't gone by.

She remembered Amon telling her to accept the loneliness and emptiness from letting go of her hate. For years she lived by that, that same rose colored bubble she wrapped around herself, and yet here she was. Akira Mado was no child anymore, hell, she lived through enough to put a centenarian to shame. All of them did.

"Seidou, it's been a very long time."

Seidou quirked a smile. "It's been 84 long years." He was always one for pop culture references, though he'd never let anyone know that who worked with him.

Putting her head in her hands, still in a buzzed haze, she wanted to laugh out loud at the madness of everything-and so she did. Laughter ruptured out of her forcefully, not giving her lungs enough time to fill air. Akira felt herself falling apart. Years, no, her whole life had been crashing down on her these last few weeks, and add insult to injury, someone had to be there to see it all.

In her mad fit of laughter, Seidou didnt know exactly what to do. Dealing with an emotional Akira was still something very new to him. He pulled off his drying cloak, walked over to Akira's shaking form, and wrapped it around her shoulders. As soon as the cloth touched her skin, she froze.

"There's no getting warm in these damn wet clothes. If you aint gonna sleep, then at least get in the bath." His voice sounded gruff and low, and it pulled Akira back to some of her senses.

"None of it matters." She mumbled.

"It all fucking matters! So get the hell up. I was nice and saved you, and I dont even have to be here with ya, so get up and do something."

"I just-I just cant do it anymore! Alright? Top of our class, number one, and best Akira Mado-cant fucking do it. There, happy? Are you fucking happy now Takizawa?"

He flinched backwards, she had been calling him by his first name all night, and now to be called by his last name felt impersonal, and hurtful.

They had all lost something, that was for certain, hell, some of them even lost the right to call themselves human. But didnt she realize everything he had been doing for her behind the scenes? The sacrifice of leaving her and Amon to themselves, and fighting in the shadows to protect the new order of things. It was a slap in the face.

"Just shut yer fucking mouth!" Seidou lunged forward, fingers digging into her shoulders, and his head bowed. "Ya know, did you ever think to wonder how I felt during all this stupid shit? All these years away, all the years in between?"

Akira's eyes were wide as she stared at this man, this man that was once Seidou Takizawa. His white hair, still damp, his long torso, thin yet carved and defined, and the skin tight black garment he wore-she took all of him in. Even the way his voice began to shake.

 _It's my Seidou._

She didnt know how to find her voice, so she mustered everything she could. "I did." There was a pause between the two. "I thought about it every day, every night, and every moment."

"Shut up."

"No! I mean it. Seidou..." Ok, how was she going to say this next part. Should she even say it at all? "Seidou, you were my first-my first l-l"

 _Fuck!_

"My first love!" That last part felt loud in her ears, did she really just shout that out?

It felt like Seidou had been punched in his gut.

Like a broken dam, Akira diverged everything inside of her.

"Ever since our academy days. The way you tried, and the way you never compared me to my parents, you only saw me and only me as your competition. Everyday I watched you strive, and fight, and I loved and respected every aspect of you. But-but then I noticed, it was like I became more than just a rival, but someone you deeply hated. And it made me sad." Akira began to shake and sniffle. "I never wanted you to hate me."

"I never-" Yes he did, he did hate her, or at least he thought he did. "I never hated you."

Before either of them realized, they had gravitated closer, their noses just a few inches apart. Seidou could pick up Akira breaths were becoming more shallow and quicker. For the first time in years, he felt nervous. Her blue eyes were bloodshot and glazed over, and her eyelids heavy. Booze still smelt the same to him, and that excited him.

"Prove it." She dared. The flicker of life came back into her eyes. She loved seeing the SS rated ghoul revert back to his old self, even if it was just for moments at a time.

"F-fuck you Mado, I dont have to prove shit!" Seidou began chewing on his lip, quickly feeling he was losing any sense of power. The situation was changing, and he didnt know how to handle that.

There was something intoxicating about watching him squirm, in fact, back in the day Akira used to fantasize about it. Deep in the corners of her daydreams she used to picture Seidou back up against a wall, and her slowly approaching. He would be a trembling, embarrassed mess, desperately trying to keep control of the situation. She used to wonder what he would do if she traced her lips against his neck, all the power she would-could have over him. He would be putty in her hands, melting under her touch like Sunday cinnamon rolls. Oh, god, did the very idea make her head spin!

The tables of power were turning. The cloak fell from her shoulders as she raised from the bed, the cold floor creaked beneath her bare feet, and her eyes locked onto the slowly retreating half ghoul. She reached out her hand, and without touching him, had backed Seidou up against the wall. The gap between them was closing, and her hands rested on his chest. There was once a time Akira believed ghouls did not have hearts, but here she was, feeling enraptured in the sound of his heart, beating as fast as hummingbird wings. Alcohol had nothing on this intoxicating feeling! It swarmed in her head, warm waves of desire and power swam in every vein. This was more exhilarating than any preceding fantasy.

She wanted to devour him, until every bit of him was inside of her.

 _You're never leaving me again. Never again._

Wow you guys! So very sorry about this very, super duper late chapter! This story is not dead I promise! Just had a ton of life stuff going on, lots of changes and so forth. Thank you for those still checking in on this story! I hope you guys can forgive me. Also, sorry for the abrupt time line change. As apologies, next chapter will be pretty steamy ;D


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